The 16 Bonding Styles

One-to-Many

One-to-Many bonders seek to share their romantic and/or sexual attention with more than one person. Each of these individual bonds may take its own form, depending on how the One-to-Many bonder and their respective partner(s) relate. For example, the partner(s) of the One-to-Many bonder may or may not know each other. Or, they may know each other in different ways. Also, the One-to-Many bonder may choose to have only one partner at any given time, and merely want to “keep the option open” to bond with potential partners in the future. 

Comfortable One-to-Many

As a Comfortable One-to-Many bonder, you prefer to share your romantic and/or sexual attention with one or more individual partner(s). In a way that feels easy and “natural,” you are comfortable giving and receiving attention from several people. These multiple people might engage with you in a relatively similar way, or perhaps in varying degrees and qualities of intimacy. Regardless, you are fully game for the dialogues, agreements, and adjustments between yourself and these partner(s) that enable mutual well-being.

Curious One-to-Many

As a Curious One-to-Many bonder, you are open and interested to share your romantic and/or sexual attention with one or more individual partner(s). In a way that feels interesting and maybe a little exciting, you are open to focusing on and receiving attention from several people. You might choose to engage with these multiple, people in a relatively similar way, or perhaps in varying degrees and qualities of intimacy. Regardless, you are open to having the dialogues, agreements, and adjustments between yourself and these partner(s) that enable mutual well-being. 

Cautious One-to-Many

As a Cautious One-to-Many bonder, you are open yet skeptical about sharing your romantic and/or sexual attention with one or more individual partner(s). You might choose to engage with these individual people in a relatively similar way, or perhaps in varying degrees and qualities of intimacy. Regardless, in a way that feels interesting yet maybe a little scary, limiting, or overwhelming, you are open to a dialogue. Given the right partner(s), circumstances, and perhaps an outside means of support, you would consider an honest experiment in which you shared your romantic and/or sexual attention with one or more individual partner(s).

Challenged One-to-Many

As a Challenged One-to-Many bonder, you are highly skeptical about sharing your romantic and/or sexual attention with one or more individual partner. The idea itself gives you a negative reaction, and/or you don’t trust what you see as examples in the world around you. Maybe you’ve tried this bonding type and are sure it’s not for you. There may also be material, emotional, and safety reasons why One-to-Many bonding sounds like an ill fit for you. For any number of reasons, you would approach One-to-Many bonding with a significant degree of mistrust, doubt, and fear. One-to-Many bonding would require highly specific circumstances and outside support for it to work for you.